2 – T’s Conversion Story
16 March 2021
Growing up in a fundamentalist Christian environment can shape your entire worldview. I was a Teenage Fundamentalist. An Exvangelical podcast explores these experiences with honesty and humour. B & T, the hosts, share their stories of being “recruited into large Pentecostal churches” as teenagers and eventually breaking free in their 30s and 40s. They offer commentary on Evangelicalism and Exvangelicalism, providing a unique perspective on rebuilding life after fundamentalism. This blog post delves into some of the key themes discussed in Episode 2, “T’s Conversion Story,” offering insights and anecdotes that may resonate with those who have walked a similar path.
One of the most striking aspects of the episode is the exploration of early influences and priming. T, one of the hosts, recounts how, despite being born into a nominally Anglican family with little religious observance, he was drawn to spiritual matters from a young age. “Even from a little tacker I was, you know, tell me about God,” he recalls. This innate curiosity was further fuelled by his mother’s exposure to Catholic Charismatic Renewal, which introduced him to concepts like speaking in tongues and divine intervention. As T notes, “there was definitely a real priming that had happened unintentionally from my parent’s perspective, but it happened”. This highlights how early exposure, even if not overtly forced, can lay the groundwork for later conversion experiences.
The podcast also touches on the role of emotional experiences and social dynamics in conversion. T describes attending a Christian concert where girls “came back telling stories of how their lives had been changed”. He was intrigued by their emotional accounts, with one girl “howling and crying that Jesus had come into her life”. This sparked his interest and led him to investigate further. However, the story also includes a contrasting experience, where one girl’s mother dismissed the emotional display, causing her daughter to question her experience. This illustrates the power of social influence and emotional manipulation within these environments, as well as the potential for questioning and doubt.
T’s journey continues with his involvement in the Inter-School Christian Fellowship (ISCF) and a subsequent Scripture Union camp. Initially drawn by the promise of an “electric charge” and amazing experiences, he and his friend were disappointed by the reality of intense Bible studies and a lack of engaging activities. “Talk about a drag,” T quips, highlighting the gap between expectations and reality. Despite their attempts to engage with the material through song lyrics, they ultimately left feeling disillusioned. This underscores the importance of critical thinking and the potential for these experiences to turn individuals away from religion.
However, T’s path took another turn when he attended a church camp with the Revival Centres of Australia. There, he was introduced to the concept of speaking in tongues, which he saw as a tangible sign of faith. Driven by a desire to fit in and impress a girl, he sought guidance from a pastor who “totally coached” him into speaking in tongues. “There was nothing spontaneous,” T recalls, “it was just saying hallelujah over and over”. Despite the manufactured nature of the experience, he convinced himself that he had felt something, leading him to declare to his parents that he had been filled with the Holy Spirit. This part of the story reveals the powerful influence of social pressure, the desire for acceptance, and the potential for self-deception in religious contexts.
The podcast also sheds light on the cult-like aspects of some fundamentalist groups. T describes the Revival Centres as a “hard and fast cult,” noting their isolation from other churches and the love bombing tactics they employed. He reflects on how the group provided him with a sense of belonging and acceptance, particularly at a time when he felt like an outsider. However, he also acknowledges that this acceptance was conditional, as he was essentially a “scalp” or “notch on a belt” for the group. B echoes this sentiment, noting the “numbers game” within these communities, where success is often measured by the number of “souls saved”. This examination of cult-like dynamics can be particularly validating for those who have experienced similar manipulation and control.
As B & T discuss, looking back on these experiences can be both “contradictory and eye-opening”. While acknowledging the potential for religious trauma, they also strive to find some positive spin or neutral spin. They do not come to the podcast with any agenda to convince atheists to be more spiritual or Christians to be less spiritual. They believe that there is good in everything, and you’ve got to find it and pull it forward into the present.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of a fundamentalist upbringing, know that you’re not alone. “I Was a Teenage Fundamentalist” offers a space to unpack these experiences, find validation, and perhaps even a bit of humour along the way. There are resources and communities available to support you in your journey. The podcast’s Facebook group is a place to connect with others on a similar journey. By sharing our stories, we can begin to heal and rebuild our lives on our own terms.