1 – B’s Conversion Story
16 March 2021
Many people who grew up in fundamentalist environments find the transition to life outside of it disorienting and filled with challenges. I was a Teenage Fundamentalist. An Exvangelical podcast explores these experiences with honesty and humour. In the inaugural episode, co-hosts B and T delve into B’s personal journey into fundamentalist Christianity, highlighting common themes such as the search for belonging, the allure of community, and the complexities of questioning a deeply ingrained belief system.
B’s early life was marked by a unique sense of spirituality, one that diverged sharply from organised religion. Growing up, B’s family explored the spiritual realm through seances and Ouija boards, a practice that stood in stark contrast to the structured environment of the churches he later encountered. “Come on kids, let’s speak to the dead!” B recalls, illustrating the unconventional spiritual explorations of his childhood. These experiences, while unusual, instilled in him a sense of spiritual curiosity that would later influence his path.
As a teenager, B briefly explored different denominations, including Catholic and Baptist churches, but felt a profound sense of disconnection. He couldn’t relate to the scripted nature of the services or the rigid expectations of the congregations. As B noted, he “just didn’t feel like part of this because I wasn’t part of the script that was there”. These early encounters with organised religion left him feeling alienated and reinforced his skepticism.
However, a significant turning point occurred when two of B’s brothers, who were previously living a very different lifestyle, became involved in a Pentecostal fundamentalist group, Christain City Church, now known as c3. B observed a remarkable transformation in his brothers, particularly the one who had been a heavy drug user. “I saw a happiness and an acceptance which I’d never seen before,” B recounts, noting the undeniable positive impact the community had on his brothers’ lives. Intrigued by this change, B decided to visit them, setting firm boundaries that they were “not allowed to preach to me, not once. If they did, I would leave straight away because they were very, very gung-ho about it”.
Despite his initial skepticism, B was drawn to the sense of community and acceptance he witnessed within the group. He attended a church service and, despite not fully understanding the teachings, felt compelled to learn more. At the end of the service, B went forward when the church leader asked if “anyone want to know a bit more about this come up the front,” and was met by people who spoke to him about the church. This led him to make a pivotal decision: “At that time I made the decision to find out a bit more about it”.
B reflects that his decision wasn’t based on logic or reason but was more of an emotional pull. “I didn’t feel like I was in control of it in some way,” he explains, highlighting the powerful influence of emotions and the sense of being drawn to something inexplicable. Despite his father’s disapproval, B felt compelled to explore this newfound path.
Soon after, B was baptised in a river, even though he “had no idea what this baptism was”. He likened the experience to simply being “part of the package”. This willingness to participate, despite his lack of understanding, underscores the desire to fit in and belong to the community.
However, B never felt entirely comfortable openly identifying as a Christian. “I was never comfortable in telling my friends about what I was part of,” he admits. He felt awkward about the label and the expectations that came with it, as he “didn’t want that branding of that’s what you are, this is the mould that you fit because it wasn’t me”.
At the age of 19, B found a sense of belonging in the Assemblies of God, which he jokingly refers to as “Great Big AOG”. He and a friend, who had also recently “given his life over to Jesus,” began attending services together and were embraced by the community. B describes the church as “incredibly welcoming” and a “well-oiled machine”. He and his friend were seen as “fresh blood,” offering the church an opportunity to connect with the outside world.
Looking back, B recognises the “cultish type behaviour” within the church. He notes the insular nature of the community and how members were labelled as “worldly” if they ventured outside its defined boundaries. This created a strong pressure to conform and remain within the fold.
Navigating the complexities of faith, community, and personal identity is a central theme in B’s story. His journey reflects the experiences of many who have grown up in similar environments and grappled with questions of belief, belonging, and authenticity.
If you find yourself on a similar journey, questioning the beliefs and structures you once held dear, know that you are not alone. The path out of fundamentalism can be challenging, but it can also lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life. If you want to engage with us and other listeners, then join us at the I was a Teenage Fundamentalist Podcast (Listener Community) on Facebook.